"So THIS was our next stop. But Mark, for a fun and safe cookout, are you sure we should buy alcohol?"

"Well JD, you know I'm a laid back kind of guy who likes to relax each night with a couple of Percocets, but I'm completely out. I just need something to calm my nerves. When I see those flames shooting out of the grill, I might have another flashback to Vietnam. Those birds that hide in your trees will taunt me, just like the VC snipers did back in Da Nang. They took out half my squad. But tonight I can even the score. A couple of 9mm slugs will turn one of those little bastard birds into a red mist of hot death. I'll slaughter the entire nest, then pull out my combat knife, get on your roof and--"

"Okay, okay, Mark. You sold me. Let's get some beer. I just want to enjoy the cookout without my next-door neighbor calling the cops again."

"Don't worry JD, when it comes to cookouts, 'Safety' is my middle name. Besides, cookouts without booze are for pantywaists."