"Are there any safety tips you can give us about withdrawing money from an ATM?"

"Yes JD, there are. It is quite common for people to rob you shortly after you withdraw money from an ATM. That's why I carry an unlicensed, concealed, 9mm semi-automatic handgun under my shirt. If someone comes within so much as ten feet of me while I'm at the ATM, I turn around and unload the high-capacity clip into their mother-loving asses. When shooting a dirty, thieving bastard, you should always aim for center mass and squeeze, not jerk, the trigger. When the smoke clears and onlookers are running for their lives, just wipe the gun clean and toss it in a dumpster. Since it's unlicensed, the pigs will never trace it to you."